i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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