His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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