When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
