What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
