Did you just see the Batmobile???
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
