Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
