Christians are straight up FREAKS
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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