Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
