Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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