I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize