do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
