All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
