dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
