the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
