did you get engaged???
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
