Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
