Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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