Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
