You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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