I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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