Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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