I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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