my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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