; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
