2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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