Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
