I hope mine doesn't look like that
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
