I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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