So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
