Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
