YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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