My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
