they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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