how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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