i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
