Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
