So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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