i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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