someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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