Where are you?
In a non slutty way
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize