We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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