I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
