Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
