Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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