No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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