I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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