are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize