next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
