North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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