she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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