The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
