whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
