nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
