Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
