this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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