don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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