If i come over, it means nothing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
