Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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