I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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