he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
