please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just google imaged poop.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
