Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
