he wants to bone in the snuggie
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
