update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize