I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my poor anus
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
